Distracted Discourse

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
For New Year's Eve my date got us a penthouse suite at the Swiss Hotel in Atlanta overlooking the fantastic fireworks display at Lenox Mall because he is a fucking pimp. This rules!

If anyone wants to snail mail me here is my address:

Rex Adventure
(It has come to my attention that posting your address on the inter web is dangerous)
However, "Night of the Living Mullets" was fabulous JPP, you shall be recieving a letter...probably after New Year's.

If you write me a letter, I wiil write you one back and include pictures and possibly candy. Trust me, I have nothing better to do except hang out with my dog.

TIS' THE SEASON:

To be a broke as fuck Jewish girl, also known as me. I am selling my computer to help pay bills because it is the only thing of value I own. If my dad finds out he will kill me! Only he won't find out because he is spending Hanukkah in Israel. Boo! Everyone expect far less posting because I a.) Will no longer own a computer, and b.) Might not be in college next semester (no computer labbing). This is all a long, long story that I don't feel like telling, so I will now change the subject...

THERE WILL BE A SPECTACULAR HOLIDAY PARTY AT OUR HOUSE, 962 Reese Street in Athens, GA on December 20th. (That's next Monday.) FORMAL WEAR IS REQUIRED. BOOZE AND PRESENTS ARE WELCOME.

Today I want to kiss things in gratitude, but not people. I had a date yesterday with a really sweet, handsome, successful man in his mid-thirties. I stood him up. Not because I didn't like him, I think he's darling. I stood him up because the prospect of getting myself into a one-on-one situation with someone I like trying to kiss me terrifies me...Unless I'm drunk. But who wants to have to be drunk to get kissed by someone they really like and not cry about it? I was too scared that I would have freaked out on him and then he would think that I was just a silly 20 year old school girl (which I am) who doesn'tknow how to deal with men. I didn't even call, so I'm sure by now he thinksI'm a horrible cunt. Such is my life. It's been over 3 months now, doesn't this shit ever go away?

My little Kitten Mitten is dead and I cried about it all day yesterday. I was pretty sure she would put up a good fight, I mean she came that far. She seemed like tough stuff. There I was driving down 316 when I got turned inside out. I was driving and crying for miles and I'm positive I was the epitomy of pathetic. I didn't realize hearts could break over such small things. She didn't even weigh a pound. I got home and there was loud music, so I thought,"FUCK! We have company and I'm crying and look like shit.Prepare for the worst." Luckily it was just my wonderful roommate and she cheered me up. That is, untilI went back to Atlanta and cried myself to sleep and wondered if my heart will always feel like it could never break again anytime something like this happens.

Ok, so some girl in my Psychology class randomly walks up to me in the hall and says, "Hey do you want a kitten? I found it in the street and it looks sick. I almost ran over it, so I picked it up out of the road, but I can't keep it.".....Which brings me to the picture featured above. That is my school bag, and yes, that is the kitten inside of it. I am now walking around campus with a stray, sick, sleeping kitty in my bag. I should reallly learn to say "NO". That's ok, I'm taking it to a safe home after my last class. I hope it will be quiet for another 2 hours, because it mewed really loudly in my Abnormal Psych class...So I pretended I was yawning.

As for Bobby's party...IT KICKED SERIOUS ASS! I have the Groom pic on buzznet. I think men running around in hot pink thongs are indeed hilarious.

Does anyone want a kitten?

PARTY TIME!!!

Tonight is my gay boyfriend's wedding party. Fucking rock! The invitation is labeled as "Big Gay Fag Male Stripper Wedding" it is at Atlanta's numero uno male strip club, "Swingin' Richard's". Now, I am positive that male strippers are one of the funniest things on the planet, so that alone is enough incentive to go. That, and the fact that there will be an open bar. However, if I get flacid cock shoved in my face, I am going to officially be a full out lesbian for the rest of my life. Plus, Bobby is trying to set me up with one of "the boys" because apparently only four of the sixty eight dancers are gay. I don't know why he thinks I will even talk to one of them, more or less date one. Oh well, I trust that after I get drunk off my two cocktails I will be really mean to anyone that tries to hit on me. Entertainment for all.

I didn't rinse all of the shampoo out of my hair this morning, so now it's all stuck together and looks like crap, but it smells fabulous! We got our house! It has no gas (CRAP!) because Kristen and I both have bad credit. Creditors are assholes! Oh well. We are having a Christmas Party...I don't know when, but I will inform, never fear.
I sat around coloring in my "My Little Pony" coloring book last night and thought to myself..."Man, you should really get a life Miranda." That, or I should at least start taking myslef really seriously so as to entertain others. Kristen and I somehow got on the subject of how I will one day annoy the shit out of my future husband. So here is a brief overview:
1.) He must propose with an onion ring. I will accept a ring with a normal looking smooth golden band inside, but the outside must be gold and look all bumpy like someone took an onion ring and threw it in a vat of gold. I will also accept real onion rings and as a last resort, a quater machine ring.
2.) He must karoke "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with me at our wedding.
3.) He must get a tattoo of stick people running on one of his feet so I can chase them with my T-rex tattos.
I think it all ended with me saying, "And this is why I'm going to die alone"

I'm at school. I feel like shit. I wish my ride would get here already so I could go get into my nice cozy bed and get my sleep on and get this headache off.

IMPORTANT: It has come to my attention that I am moving and I do NOT have a stereo or boombox or whatever you crazy kids are calling those things that play cd's nowadays....If anyone can tell me where I can find one to play my annoying opera cd's on (preferably $30 or under) I will make you baked goods. It can't be on e-bay either because I don't have a credit card to order it with. Grasis. Besos. -Miranda

HAPPY DECEMBER!

Brrr! I'm still sick. I think the fact that I have no heat may have someting to do with it. I've been taking baths the old fashioned way by boiling water in pots and pouring it in the bathtub. Rock N' Roll. I hate being sick. I get far to restless for lying in bed all day. I sat with Trixie and was unimpressed by my Vonnegut. I watched the same DVD for the 800th time. I beat a boy at video games (They get really mad when girls do that). I can't box or sing, so I think I'm about to go crazy. I can't sleep because I can't breathe well enough. I took dayquil and now I feel high.....

Enough of that boringness. I start working with the Cancer Kids today and tomorrow. I'm nervous. I hope they like me. I'm sure they will, I'm just being the silly girl that I am.

I can't wait until winter break. My only plans are on New Year's Eve. I think dor the rest I might just get a puppy, train him, and work one day a week until school starts again. Lovely.

Currently, I am preoccupied with being in love with being in love with everything.